Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Walmart and all!

Not sleeping too well at the moment so the price you pay is being faced with the choice to read a blog post about fucking Walmart. In case you don't know who she is, or are one of the few people who haven't fucked her, let me fill you in on the details.
Hah, for a minute there you thought this post was gonna get interesting didn't ya! Well it might yet, so hang in there now you got this far. Yesterday we went to Walmart, not cos we needed anything, but because a friend of ours was driving there and we went along for the ride. We went into this huge shed absolutely crammed full of 'consumer durables' of every description. I kid you not, this place is even bigger than Mole Valley Farmers in Newton Abbot, but could I find any sheep maggot oil, not a chance, so there you go - as my wife says, size isn't everything but it might help.
Actually I did find a nice pair of regular fit Wrangler jeans for $15. That's a bargain I couldn't resist. Vicus, that's about £7.50 in real money - it costs me a tenner for jeans in MVF and that's not even a brand name make. And the Mrs bought some Advil, that's Ibuprofin in English I believe.
When we got to the till we were served by a 30 stone 17 year old youth who moved at the speed of a snail on valium. I passed up on the opportunity of lecturing him on the benefits of a good wholefood diet for fear it would take him even longer to press the till keys. Apologies for sounding like such a smug bastard in that last sentence - I'll probably die choking on my aduki beans tonight.
To bring a little balance into this post I do have to say that so far I have found the american people to be an absolute joy. Even outside Denver airport where we had to wait for an hour for a hotel shuttle, and I felt quite scared, pretty much everyone was 'cooooool'.

8 comments:

  1. OK, keep me in suspense then, don't tell me what you've bought for me.
    Target is upmarket from Walmart, if you can spare an extra 2 dollars.

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  2. I can't keep up with all these posts! What's happening?! For months I've lurked here, and barely a word from you. Now there's more verbiage than in an average phone call between me and Mrs W!

    Walmart - that poor lad was probably struggling under the sheer crushing evilness of the place. They sell bullets, you know. There's a branch at Cribbs Causeway, if you want to stock up on ammo when re-entering the Westcountry.

    Good luck with Zuni. Tell us more.


    Tell Sarah that the BHS have been in touch, but no corrections. Hoorah!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're shopping at Walmart, and Sarah is working for British Home Stores?
    And I thought that I had sold out.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Only the North Bovey BHS outlet has a Department of Correction. Sarah was lucky.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh Tom, not Walmart... I suppose you are watching Fox News now as well...

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