Friday, March 30, 2007

A Long Time Coming

Well you should always live in hope yeah, or at least I guess my Mrs does!
Sorry there has been such a gap between this post and the last post. I guess by now my readership is definitely down to single figures, or a single person more like.
So from 42 ewes that went to the ram, 40 were in lamb. One had a dead lamb, and one had a lamb, but then in a blind hormonal panic, ran into the horse shed and got kicked by my horse, and never got up again. I gave her lamb to my neighbour, Shirley, cos I really couldn't be bothered with bottle rearing it.
We had six sets of twins so we ended up with 45 lambs, and so far they are all doing well.
God, how nice to lie in bed in the morning and not think, 'boy, I really should go check those sheep in case there is one struggling to get a lamb out. By the way, this year I helped in four births, and I reckon maybe in two of those if I hadn't helped the ewes would never have made it.
So yesterday I got on the phone to see if I could sell the two barren ewes for organic mutton, and it turns out that Riverford farm have just started doing a meat box and they want them and they are desperate for organic lamb too. So I told them they could have all my lambs, and that I would up production this year so I could supply them with even more next year. I just think it is so great the way the organic food business is lifting off right now. Despite a government that tells us all sorts of lies about how its no different to any other food, the people know better.
Fuck the government I say. Never in my whole life have I despised politicians the way I do now. What a bunch of lying parasites. Do we really need them, do they serve any useful purpose, and is there any one person in this world that could be a politician and retain his/her integrity (apart from me obviously).

Friday, March 09, 2007

Global warming or not?

Oh my, I watched a prog on the telly last night that pretty much left me convinced that global warming due to carbon dioxide is pretty much a myth - and I believed it too. They had graphs to prove that the temperature changes are not in line with CO2 at all, but are totally in line with the warmth coming from the sun. So there you go.

Now for someone who is as green as can be, that leaves me with quite a few issues to think about. Hang on to the 4 x 4, buy the widescreen telly, book three long haul holidays instead of two, cancel the offset carbon emmissions plans, get some decent lightbulbs back in that work with dimmers, re-install the oil central heating, to mention just a few of the jobs I have to do today.

I thought one of the most interesting points made was the way all the lefties/luddites, me included I guess, have jumped on the environmentalism bandwagon in an 'I told you so', kind of way, as proof that capitalism/rampant materialism just does not work. Fuck it, after all this time I have finally realised that the fashion industry is right, and all those programmes about twats building big houses and having holidays in the sun, and telling me it's better somewhere else than where I am, are in fact totally correct. From now on its full steam ahead in the pursuit of wealth for me.
Sod the planet I say!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Did I write this post last year? Groundhog day 2 - edited lowlights. The Book of Job, Part Two, chapter one.

Every year we say we are gonna be ready for lambing this year. Then something happens and of course we're not.
So last night it was probably the wettest and windiest night of the year. I checked the sheep at about five and there was this one ewe looking a bit iffy. So about ten I thought I'd better go out and check her. Struggled over to the barn and put my waterproofs on and set off down to the field. The battery in the torch didn't have much life left in it so I walked in the dark as much as possible.
Got to the field and it was like walking in a puddle of water. The wind was wild as hell and the rain was stinging my face, and needless to say I was having one of my all too regular 'what the fuck am I doing' moments. I knew where she would be so I set off down the field to the furthest away point and guess what, she had a lamb. There was no way it would survive out in that weather so I picked it up and slowly made my way back up the field getting the ewe to follow by putting the lamb down every five metres or so for her to catch up.
At the top of the field I have to somehow get the ewe through a gate into a small paddock next to the barn. The wind is blowing so hard I could hardly open the gate. So I put the lamb on the ground the other side of the gate, held the gate open and tried to get her to go through to her lamb. A whole bunch of sheep were there and I had no idea which was the mum - in the end a couple went through and I had to take a chance that one of them was the right one. I shut the gate and carried on my way. Got the lamb to the top of the paddock but by now the ewe had lost interest. So now I tried to catch the ewe. After chasing her around for a bit I caught her and dragged her up to where the lamb was. I picked up the lamb in my other hand and struggled to the shed.
Getting them in the shed was another massive drama but anyway, I managed it and shut the door on them and went back down the field to find the torch. When I got back the sodding ewe had taken off out the back of the shed and the lamb was all on its own freezing cold. I dried it off with a towel and put it in a load of hay to keep it warm and went off after the ewe. Of course I wasn't even sure it was the right ewe either, in fact it was looking like it almost certainly wasn't.
Caught the ewe again and had a look at her back end to see if there were any signs of the birth and yes, this was the right ewe, so back up the paddock we went. By now I was pretty knackered and seriously promising myself that I would be moving into a small semi in town shortly. Got her to the shed and at last Sarah turns up to see what's going on.
We get them penned but by now the lamb is starting to give up a bit. We try to get him to suck some colostrum off the ewe but he really isn't up to it, so we decide to give him some artificial colostrum to get him going. Get to the shed to see if we have any left over from last year and find that rats have knawed through the container and eaten the lot. So Sarah sets off over the valley to pick some up from our friends place. I go in to heat some water and as I put the kettle on we have a power cut. I search for the candles in the dark and eventually get a bit of light on the subject. Get some water boiled and set off back down to the barn.
Sarah meets me there a few minutes later and we manage to stomach tube 60ml of warm colostrum down the little bastards neck.

6.30 this morning. The rain has stopped and it is a glorious day. Go down the barn and there the little fucker is happily sucking away on his mother. Awwwww!
Any farmers reading this and thinking, 'what a shambles', Bollocks to you.