Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Tom909s guide to Bossy Women

Dontcha just love em!
So here are my top four rules of how to deal with bossy women. And just remember, I am a man of some experience in this area - right now I have my wife Sarah, my SL girlfriend Rosie, and Pammie, plus my two daughters all going at me.
Hopefully these rules will be of use to all you guys who, like me, just roll over far too easily when a pretty lady comes up to you and, oh so sweetly, tells you what to do.
Rule number one, which is an absolute must, for god's sake never ever let it get to the list stage. Once you have a list I'm not sure there is any way back. It is a very basic fact of life that there is no end to a list of jobs, so don't even try.
Rule number two, and this is also very important, hand over all power on any decisions that make no difference - with some women just this simple act alone is enough to fulfil all their bossy needs.
Rule number three, if things start to get bad and you start to get really serious instructions to do difficult stuff, one very important tactic that can be very effective, is to just say yes, promise some imminent action but kind of not do a lot. This is by far a better approach than going in for a confrontation that you will almost certainly lose.
Rule number four, always be real generous with the love you give to your lady. This can deflect so much hassle, and they like this so much they often forget how good you are at doing all those little annoying jobs around the place.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

A love letter to Pammie

Dearest Pammy

I know I've kind of covered this before a bit but I still think about it a lot. I guess it's because when I read your posts I see how your life is and has been so different to mine, and yet somehow we are dear friends. I will never change for anyone, not even for you Pammie babe, so I take my hat off to you for not judging me and for accepting me as I am.

I dont know if you are interested or not but here are some key points from my life so far. Really I'm doing this so that you can maybe get to know me better, and get a bit of a picture of why I am like I am - no other reason - and certainly I accept that in the great spectrum of human existence, my life has been an utter privilege.

At the age of 13 I first got drunk (on rough cider)

At the age of 17 I had my first girl, and 'All you need is Love' was released
At the age of 18 I smoked my first joint, dropped my first acid tab, and my first son was born
At the age of 20 I kind off started to realise that the real important stuff going on in this life was within me.
At the age of 21 I was sitting on a beach in India stoned out of my brains
At the age of 22 I gave up using drugs (almost anyway)
At the age of 23 I got married and my first daughter was born
At the age of 28 I had four beatiful children (5 if you count my first son)
At the age of 30 I was divorced
At the age of 31 I married my present wife, and our son was born
At the age of 45 I met my first son who I had only ever seen for two hours when he was one.

So Pammy, that's enough of this self-indulgent crap. I just wanted you to know why I think the way I do. I have so loved my life so far.



Wednesday, October 18, 2006

One day in History

Wake up at 5.45.
Sit for one hour focussing my mind away from thought and onto the life within me.
Get up and log in to Second Life. Spend two hours talking to my friend who had just been dumped by her SL boyfriend. Couldn't really cheer her up much but arranged to talk again at lunchtime.
8.00 Take my wife a cup of tea in bed.
Have my breakfast - two slices of home-made organic wholemeal bread with organic spread and marmalade on, and two mugs of tea.
Go outside and feed the lambs. Bring my horse in and give him a feed. Spend about an hour grooming my horse and trimming his feet. Do a really good job.
11.00 Have a coffee.
Sharon and Maureen arrive to work with the horse they are buying from us. I help them for a while. We longline the horse up the road to get her used to traffic and to teach her to walk forward on cue.
1.oo Spend more time with my SL friend - she is a lot happier now. My wife Sarah brings me my lunch which I eat while I am sitting at my computer.
After lunch we go out and I trim Sarah's horse's feet and then we go and worm a sheep that has an obvious problem - being organic we are not allowed to routine worm, we can only worm in obvious cases of necessity. I feed the cats in the barn.
Sarah spends the rest of the afternoon working on her book on the computer. I do some research into some machinery we need on the farm. I feel tired so I take a nap - I've been doing this now for a few days, I'm really starting to enjoy my afternoon naps - my Dad naps too so I feel good about it.
Wake up and check my blog and those of my blogging friends, especially Vicus who is one of my oldest buddies. See this thing about a day in history and decide I should join in.
Spend an hour writing my post.....
For the purposes of completing a day, the rest of the day is what I think is going to happen. If it is dramatically different I will tell you tomorrow.
Sarah is going well on her book so I make supper. Tonight I make a rice and vegetable cheese bake - yummy! We eat pretty much 100% organic and we love our food. Afterwards we have a smoothy made from banana, apple, yoghurt and soya milk - yummy.
After supper Sarah watches telly and I go on Second Life. Just so you know, I have a little character on there who I roleplay - he is quite like me in some ways but quite different in others. I meet up with my SL friends, especially my little character's SL girlfriend Rosie who comes from Arizona USA. I love these little friends that I have on SL - they come from all over the place and we have really good chats about all sorts of stuff. Sometimes it is so funny I role about laughing, other times it is very sad, other times it is serious, sometimes stuff about politics, or often philosophy with my friend Wolf. Most days we have lots of banter and lots of stuff about relationships. We know each other so well - it is frighteningly real at times.
Sarah goes to bed about 10.30 and by the time I get up to bed at about 12.30 she is fast asleep. I climb into bed and lie by her side. I listen to her breathing and thank God for giving me a wife I love and for allowing me to experience this creation.
I am soon fast asleep.

This post has been sent to - One Day in History - see Vicus Scurra for link.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Forty Three Women in 21 Days

Yes, that is the target that he is aiming for. And he is a virgin right now too.
So today we put our new ram in with his ewes. He has 21 days to do his stuff and then we back him up with another ram. The reason we do this is firstly, in case he is firing blanks, and secondly, in case he misses out on any ewes.
So anyway me and my mate Kyle were trimming the ewes feet, and men being men, we were discussing how we would get on faced with the same challenge, but with women not ewes you dirty minded sods. Kyle reckoned he could maybe get half way through the second day no problem. And of course I was thinking, two women a day for three weeks - I'd better take my computer or a good book to help fill in all the spare time.

Friday, October 06, 2006


This is a video made by my friend Kelly from Arizona, who I met in Second Life.
It made me cry.


Monday, October 02, 2006

Bollocks, this should do it.

What can I say that's gonna change the world? Do you believe all that bollocks about a grain of sand?
The world is the world is the world. Ever changing but always the same.
Thus spake Sri Gobshiteananda

Bollocks, didn't quite make it long enough

This should do it - back shortly with a totally rivetting post (not).

Enough is enough

Sorry everyone, got to change the front page. Fed up of looking at that skanky little foetus now.