Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Psychotherapy, or should I just stick my head up my arse?

I'm sorry but I've had it with all that bollocks, not that I know anything about it, or have ever been anywhere near it, which I am sure you will agree, makes me eminently qualified to write on the subject. Around us they have something called buddhist psychotherapy - someone should tell them that what the Buddha was on about was getting beyond your mind, not messing about in it.

I was chatting to a girl the other day and she was telling me most of what she was having to deal with was caused in the womb, at her birth, and during the first three years of her life. As usual with all these therapies, you have to get worse before you get better, which is quite handy really, especially if you happen to be the therapist charging how ever many bucks a session to encourage someone to talk a load of bollocks.

What I want to know is this, why, if you are feeling bad, would you want to go and start digging around in a pile of shit (your mind) and make yourself feel worse. And just in case you haven't realised, here's a little bit of information I'll give you for free - your mind has no end, it's a can of worms, undo one knot and there is another - that is not a great place to go to feel good. Far better I would say, find something that makes you feel good, and that takes your focus away from your mind, and frees you up from it.

So you know me, or maybe you don't, but I would never slag something off without giving some practical alternative, so here it is. One thing you could try is go and have a good shag. That sometimes helps. But if you can't do that, or if you truly want to be really free, then find the energy that keeps you alive - that will make you feel good, guaranteed!


  1. Hum, shagging as an alternative to psycotherapy? Interesting point. Freudians would definitely love this post.

    May I suggest another alternative just for those who are into chastity? –not many, I hope-. The old Freudian sublimation concept could be a good cure too, transforming your unwanted impulses into something less harmful through a constructive and valuable piece of work. Some examples:
    A person with strong sexual urges could become an artist.
    A man who has extra-marital desires could take up household repairs when his wife is out of town.
    A person who has an obsessive need for control and order could become a successful business entrepreneur.

    This may sound to cheap and old fashioned psicology, but give it a though, there may be some truth in it.

    Anyway, since my art, DIY and business skills are underdeveloped, in the event of needing therapy sessions I’d consider trying your altenative solution. :)

  2. Hm, where is everybody? I can hear my echo.

  3. I was just trying to work out what Tom does for a living. I was under the (obviously mistaken) impression that it involves getting people to look at their behaviour and modify it.
    I am puzzled.

  4. Leni - thank you for your sound advice on this subject. DIY while the wife is out of town is a suggestion that I am sure most of us men could benefit from putting into practice.
    Im not sure it is my place to comment on your shortage of skills in certain areas and where that leads you....

    Vicus - yes Vicus, that's what I do, but I don't look back!

  5. psychtherapy always makes me think of getting a stick and stirring it around in a really nasty mess. You get the most foul smell! (And you still have the mess)

  6. I concur Dr Tom.
    This oxymoronic Freuddhist approach is not covered by her Insurance anyway.

    It would be prudent to exercise caution before investing one's hard earned mental health dollars into the perplexing notion that your life was ruined before it even started.

    However I feel that unleashing this repressed embrionicist into a short term physical relationship would only create a toxic environment for both parties.

    Might I be so bold as to prescribe some self administered vigorous digital manipulation on her delete button in order to cleanse herself of these terrible zygotian memories.

    This simple time honored procedure should be encouraged until she suddenly finds herself shouting out the name of her deity of choice.

    Repeat if necessary.

  7. People I've known who visit pyschotherapists tend to have done so for years and years. Is it like an addiction? All of that delving around in the mind seems to make them feel worse about themselves if anything - always cross examining their motives for doing things.

    I suppose if psychotherapists "cured" their patients in a short amount of time though, they wouldn't have as much work or as many people willing to shell out the money to carry on seeing them.

    Sorry, I always end up being cynical and bitter, don't I?

  8. Leni recommended your blog.

    Very interesting...

    Ill include it in my favourites blogs list.


  9. Cubby, thank you for visiting my site.

    Best regards.


  10. Anonymous6/2/08 09:18

    I'm with Betty - seems to me that once you've gone once, you can't help but go back. Its like any other crutch, but unlike drugs and alcohol it only damages your wallet and not your health too.

    unless you spend all your last dregs of cash on a greedy, scheming psychotherapist and end up living under a bridge and get pneumonia/eat a bad dustbin-kebab/get stabbed by some other tramp/contract rabies or any other kind of stereotypically trampish disease etc. etc.

  11. A good shag does least in taking your mind off the problems at hand for the moment.

    But what about after that shag? DO you recommend a monetary compensation left via the bedstand for payment of momentary sanity during distress....or would a simple 'Thank you, your job is done,you are no longer needed' will suffice?


    Hey Tom!!

  12. Tom, I agree with you completely. I don't believe in experts and certainly not psychotherapists who are usually crazy beyond words. After the shag (which, by the way I concur that it is the best way to deal with problems) comes a smoke, hellllloooo....!

  13. Ruby - it gets worse - what a mess we humans can get into.

    Homo - digital manipulation....sound advice, you should set yourself up as a therapist.

    Fernando - thanks for visiting..

    Betty - I've told you before, cynical and bitter isn't all bad. I once went to Findhorn and the lack of cynicism was positively dangerous.

    Fat Horse - I prefer drugs or alcohol - at least then you admit it's a crutch instead of some 'worthy' activity that you then spend your life telling everyone about.

    Awa - well, what a question. It was a gross over simplification on my part to suggest a good shag as a cure all. It's not always that easy - you have to have access to a good partner, at least for an hour or too anyway.
    OK, here's my advice - if he's any good in other areas of life, keep him around, and if he's not, thank him and send him on his way.

    Carmy - hello and welcome back. I used to like a smoke afterwards, now I just roll over and go to sleep.... I'm only joking, course I don't. I sweet talk and spoil my partner, and then make her a nice cup of tea.

  14. As a feminist, I admit I feel discouraged to read that Tom is still calling women 'girls' despite all my attempts to get him to modify this behaviour.

    As a psychoanalytically trained psychotherapist, who works with violence in the family, I would like to thank Vicus for his insightful remark,and point out that more shagging is unlikely to be effective in my area of work. Not for the clients, anyway.

    By the way, I had a very exciting ride on my horse today, being chased by an escaping sheep, who was being chased by a dog, who was being shouted at by a man. I followed Tom's advice and indicated to the horse that this was nothing to be worried about.

  15. Erica - thank you so much for being brave enough to come on here and put in a good word for psychotherapy. If it can be shown to be useful then that is enough for me - but I just want someone to show me or tell me the evidence, that's all. Maybe I would have got a better response from people positive about it, if I had been a little less confronting.
    And Erica, girl or lady or woman, it's just a word isn't it?
    And Erica, great you are having such fun with your horse - not so long ago, you would hardly believe it was possible.

  16. 'Just a word'. Well. what's in a word?

    In South Africa, when I grew up, when you went to the butcher there were three types of meat on display: meat, boys' meat, and dog meat, in descending order of cost. The boys' meat was for adult men who were second class citizens (actually they were not citizens, not having the vote)who were servants. They were black.

    Boy is 'just a word' but I hope this indicates that social prejudice and an entire world-view can be contained in a single word. A somewhat similar word, as I hope is evident.

    Re the horse incident, I did not relate the outcome of employing your advice. That does not mean it was wrong, of course. Anyway, as you can see, I have lived to tell the tale.

    Re my profession, I don't believe I was defensive. I go to work, try to help children be rehabilitated safely to their families, and am occasionally successful. As for evidence, I stand up in court and give it there. It would take too long to give it here, I think.

    Happy blogging, everyone...

    By the way, word recognition for this post is ggasm - weird, huh?

  17. erica - please put some photos of your horse on your 'empty' site - I would love to see more.

    tom - If I get a treeless saddle (for Fredster 3 in May - not to sit on yet, just to get him used to it) will it adapt (sizewise) as he matures?

  18. Erica - when I say evidence, I mean has anyone actually worked out if it is beneficial to root around in ones past and try and link it in some way to the problems your mind is presenting you with now. That's all I want to know - if it is, then fine, if not, then that's fine too - I just want to know.

    Ziggi - there are different types of treeless saddle, but generally, the idea is that they are flexible and fit the horse as the horse moves or changes shape. I am a fan, although in the states recently, I really enjoyed riding on a Genadek western saddle. I'm back on my Treefree now, and I also use a Heather Moffett treeless too. My answer is yes, almost certainly.

  19. I'm delighted to hear that Heather Moffett is 'back in the saddle' again and managed to 'stir up' a little action.

    By my calculations she had remained 'treeless' for quite some least according to the gossip overheard at the Club.
    Bloody shame.