A daily dose of Virtual Sex

Just checking to see if anyone is out there. Mind you these days virtual and real are all blending into one aren't they. Did anyone ever ask you, when you were tripping, 'where does the earth end and the sky begin?' God that was a tough one - spun me right out.

And I just have to use this small area of cyberspace to register my utter dissappointment that Jack didn't win Big Brother. How pathetic that the British public yet again got well and truly duped by the media and put everything right by voting Miss Perfect Shilpa as the winner. Don't get me wrong, she's a nice bird, I'd give her one, but how lame to have a whole series from start to finish basically orchestrated by the redtops.

I was getting quite enthusiastic about the way we were using our democratic rights to confound these tv shows. I mean when we voted for that fat bird to win that singing competition, now that was good. And for a while it did start to look like we were cottoning on that it is actually more fun to go against the programme makers and the tabloids, but sadly we're right back in there now. Go on you fuckers, tell us who you want to win and we'll all trot out there and vote for them. Yuk!

Happy Fairies Part Two

Quote of the day supplied by my good friend Wolf in Second Life.

Opinions are like arseholes - everyone's got one.

I have lived my life thinking about this kind of stuff and it fascinates me. Sorry everyone but I could go on and on talking about it, and as it's my blog so I'm going to.
I take your point Kropotkin, and also Richard. But how about this for an idea, and actually it is pretty much what I believe. This world ain't never going to be perfect - that's it's nature. We can strive to improve it, and I'm not saying we shouldn't, but the fact is people will always want what they can't have, people will always get something they want then decide they want some thing else, or they will lose it or it will change. Know what I mean. Or some twat comes along and takes it from you, or there is some accident and it gets buggered up or destroyed. Just trying to cover all the options here, but you get the drift what I'm saying.
And I know it's like this cos I'm like it too. Get one woman and want another, get a field and want the one next to it, it's just man's nature. So, that's why I'm into inner peace, cos peace, real peace, just doesn't fucking exist out there. You get the odd good day for sure, but it won't be long before your mind comes knocking at the door telling you something ain't quite right.
But yes, I agree, it should be as good as we can get it. No-one should be starving and no-one should be fighting wars. We should be able to do better than that. And that's why I'm going into politics/dissappearing up my own arsehole (delete which doesn't apply) - yeah, both of them.

Happy Fairies

Pammy, Pammy, Pammy, it's January and its wet and windy and I'm pretty much on my arse looking after all the animals I have foolishly made myself responsible for - writing nice fluffy heartwarming stuff right now ain't easy. Hang in there babe, I promise the next post will be about bunnies, and fairies, and cuddling up nice and warm together, and being in love, and getting surprise cheques through the post, and the sun shining in winter, and people being kind to each other, and the planet being happy because everyone is looking after it, and all politicians waking up one day and thinking, 'right, I'll retire now, cos actually I'm making a right ballsup of this', and everyone just plain and simple feeling good inside and and and.....
Awwwww go on then, just for you I'll abandon my serious post and continue talking about nice stuff for a while longer ok.
One day there was a little happy fairy and he had no idea that there was horrible stuff going on in the big wide world. He lived in a little hole between the roots in the base of a big oak tree. Not so far away he had a little fairy girlfriend who he had been going out with ever since they had left fairy school. They had always liked each other, ever since junior fairy school, but they were both very shy and it was ages before either of them had the courage to ask each other for a date.
It was coming to the end of the final school term and the happy little fairy realised that it was a now or never situation. He knew tha once he left school he would no longer see his girl every day and the thought of that was breaking his heart. So on the very last day he plucked up his courage, and while they were waiting for the bus back home, he said, 'Little fairy girl, you are very special to me and I would really like to keep seeing you after we finish school'. The little fairy girl went bright red and looked down at the floor and went very very quiet. The happy little fairy's heart sank. He just knew he had done a wrong un and wanted to die on the spot. Oh my god, if only he could turn the clocks back just five minutes. Why had he ever even thought she might be even remotely interested in him. A huge lump rose up in his throat and he could feel the tears coming into his eyes and he just wished more than anything that he had kept his mouth firmly shut.
By now there was a huge group of fairies at the bus stop and he was beginning to feel more embarrassed than he had ever felt in his whole life. Somehow everyone seemed to know what was happening and it was all starting to feel a bit like a scene out of a shakespearian play. And then after what seemed forever the the little fairy girl raised her head and looked him straight in the face. Slowly slowly she gave him this oh so sweet little smile. And suddenly everything changed for him - suddenly his whole world came together again and his little smile came back to his face.
Ever since that day the happy little fairy has gone to see his gal every day. They usually just sit and talk crap. He is a happy little fairy now.
But dont forget little fairy, everything in this world is temporary, true happiness, really true happiness, does not come from this world, it comes from within. So take care cos if and when things fall apart it's gonna hurt real bad.

Sunday Morning Sermon No.47

And it came to pass that I was sitting at the computer......
So I was thinking about this organic food question right. Now I know there are 7 billion of us little tiny souls on this planet and I am imagining that they all feel fairly similar to me - that is, that my life is pretty important to me. I know some of you guys think something happens after this life, but you can't prove it, so for now all we really know for sure is that we have this one. So on that basis, you really want to make the best of it, yeah.
But it's a tough call isn't it, well I find it tough anyway. Like walking through a minefield in a way - anything can happen anytime. People get pregnant, babies get born, people run off and leave you, people get ill, people die, you get ill, you die. Sounds like a real bunch of fun doesn't it. So how come we can have a laugh with all this shit going down - but somehow thank god we can.
So what the fuck has this got to do with organic food - fuck all really, that post just stirred up a whole load of serious shit in me and sorry guys, it has to come out somewhere. Can't risk dumping it on the mrs - she thinks I'm dull enough already.
So how to make the best of your life - that is the question. Yes, and here is the answer ok, and it is yours for free. How do I know this is true? It is, right, accept it. I have thought about it a lot and I have tried it out and it is definitely true ok. Does it work no matter what? Yes it does, but it ain't always so easy so you have to practise it.
So here it is - are you concentrating?
Be Here Now (or you'll miss it).

2007 Competition Time

I once narrowly missed out in a blogging competition on winning a virtual caravan . I was so gutted, as I'm sure were all the other losing contestants, that I have decided to give you all another opportunity to win a similar prize. In one of my fields there is an actual real caravan, yes a real one, which I have been told dismantled would be worth at least £50 scrap value (prize to be collected by the winner at their own cost). Anyway, Good Luck everyone.
To win the prize you must answer both questions correctly - obviously first correct answers win, but to avoid the post falling flat on its arse as soon as the correct answer comes in, any amusing response can be proclaimed the actual winner above the correct answer. So don't forget, even if you don't know the answers, just by leaving a comment you are still in with a chance to win this superb prize.
Obviously in a competition with such an outstanding prize, to avoid dissappointment I would advise early entry - readers of my blog will know this is something I have long been in favour of.

So here we go.

Who said
'Avant-garde is French for bullshit'

Which movie is the following quote in
'A woman needs a reason to have sex, a man just needs a place'

Happy New Year

2007 here we go wheeeee!

OK, I'll start off my new year's blogging with my new years resolution, and NO, it is not to shag as many women as possible - that didn't even cross my mind. Anyway, I couldn't put that on my blog could I, I am happily married and my wife reads my blog so that would be akin to suicide, and anyway I'm too old for that, and it would all get horrendously complicated, and I can't be bothered. No, my resolution this year is to ride my horse as much as possible and work my arse off. Yes I have decided that I am going to give one more year of my life (should it be granted in full by the almighty) to working with horses as much as possible.
See, the problem I have is that I am a lazy git, and I just find it so easy to sit here on the computer, or sit and chat to the Mrs, or chat to friends, or just sit and drink tea and coffee, or go out and have lunch in my favourite little cafe, or even just sit and watch telly. And before you know it I have a full life, or maybe a better description would be a life full. None of these things earns me any money, and all of them help me dissappear off the radar of this world.
So just one more time, one more gargantuan effort to sell myself and my skills to this world. Remodel my website, shedule a load of clinics, keep my eyes open for deals to make money on, keep my eyes open for horses to make me look good.
Aw Shucks, I really can't be bothered, or can I. This is going to be a tough one to keep - no, fuck it, I can't do it. Fancy going out for a coffee darling.