Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Vote NOW!

This blogging thing, I'm not sure what to do with it. I looked back over some of my stuff and it is really quite good, but recently I have to admit, it has been shite! I know some people blog on about having sore kidneys, piles or impotence (amazingly I have none of these complaints), but I kind of feel that my blog should somehow be more than just a record of me me me me!

Please vote for any one of the following ideas.

1) Pretend I am dying from cancer and blog about my remaining few months on earth.

2) Pretend I am a gay guy with two kids, trapped in an unhappy marriage.

3) Pretend I am an absolute stud going for the record presently held by Gene Simmons.

4) Pretend I am having a wild affair with the lady of the manor up the road.

5) Pretend I am on the run from the police since escaping jail for drug offences in the 70s

6) Use the blog to advance my career as a horse trainer.

7) Put up a post telling everyone to Fuck off

8) Fuck off myself

Whichever idea gets most votes, or if anyone comes up with a better idea, I will put it into action.


  1. (1). Think of the huge increase in the audience, and the nominations for Post Of The Week, and the hundreds of comments from people saying "what can I say ... I have tears in my eyes. Beautiful, beautiful writing Tom". Then you can publish it with "weeks" left to live, and it'll end up in the "stories of human suffering" section of WH Smith's, and you'll end up being a multi millionaire! Pretending to be dead could be a bit of a problem though. You may have to resort to plastic surgery and a new home in Brazil.

  2. way way way back at the very beginning of your blogging you said you were going to tell us something - what was it?

  3. Well.... 6 would be my obvious choice but i'd enjoy reading about 3, 4 or 5 LOL X

  4. I think it's perfectly acceptable to just talk about yourself and your life. I find it interesting and it keeps me coming back and reading.

  5. Can I say how much I agree with Pam? No, I can't.

  6. Well, I'd enjoy 6, but 4 sounds like it could be the set up for a vintage sitcom. Perhaps you could combine some of them, pretend you're a gay convict with two kids on the run from the police since the seventies while having a wild afair with Gene Simmons from the manor up the road, all the while battling with cancer and people who tell you to fuck off.

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  8. Blank ballot here. (*chuckles to herself*).

    Rack your brains, Tom. Write a script for the next James Bond movie, a fairytale, an horror story, the secret life of horses, funny anecdotes from your life.

    The effort isn't always rewarded, and it's so unfair. I've always asked myself why some people find sore kidneys or hemorroids more interesting than a good fantasy. But that is debatable, of course.

    If you can motivate your readerships to come back, anything will do. They're the ones that keep your blog alive. There is no magic recipe but to put your heart and soul in it. And yet success is not guaranteed. :)

  9. Betty - I am very tempted by this option, although I think it may be more profitable to sell the book, and TV rights, then come out as faking it, and sell that story to the papers. In for a penny, in fora pound, I say!

    Ziggi - Did i say that? I'm gonna scroll back to those halcyon days and see exactly what I promised.

    Lisa - Welcome to my blog - are you Lisa from Talke Pits? I often think I should get serious and just do horse stuff. Someone at one of Mark's clinics asked Sarah what our clinics are like, She replied 'a bit like this really, but with swearing!'

    Henry - brief and to the point as ever.

    Pamela - oh that everyone was as sweet as you. How did you manage to stay so sweet - while the rest of us have become so mean.

    Vicus - pray tell me why are you not sweet like Pammy. What happened in your life to turn you so sour.

    Glenatron - I hate it when commenters are funnier than the posters, or at least I do when I am the poster.But yes, I have to admit maybe you have something there. Would you be interested in a guest slot on my blog to develop this theme.

    Sweet Leni Q - Nothing is fair in the writers world. Some of the shite that makes money is unbelievable, and some of the writing on blogs is better than you'll ever find published.
    But I do get annoyed when I can't write good stuff - but this one is a bit better - maybe I am on the start of a comeback - ever the optimist, me!

  10. I'm getting piles from sitting around waiting for you to make up your mind.

  11. Don't get cranky about it Tom: If you wrote good stuff, you will write good stuff again, that's for sure. Even if it's about piles, eeek!

    But whatever it is you write about, put your heart in it.:)

  12. Anonymous8/8/08 08:54

    What Glenatron said. And also, secretly, you are the Incredible Hulk. Or Hulk Hogan. One of the two.

    And hilarity ensues...

  13. So many choices... hmmmm... let me think.

    I think you would most enjoy #3 but #5 would be the most believable. Choosing #7 would prolly get you the most comments...

    My suggestion is just to relax and quit acting like a grumpy old git.

    And if you want to read a blog that is all about me me me me. Stop on by.

    hugs! :)

  14. What about a little -little- summer break to charge the batteries? (Just a suggestion) This is what I'm doing, after my blogger rants.

    PS.-Oh, I made peace with the world already and am enjoying myself at the beach.

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