Sunday, December 30, 2007

Disappearing up Uranus - Part 34

OK, this is a promise. I will not write a new post until I get ten comments - so work it out everyone - if you want me to shut up and go away, then it's very easy, don't comment. To help this process along I will continue with my more recent theme of making my posts devoid of any interest or humour whatsoever - well, I might have to make perhaps just one knob or arse joke - it's my nature, I can't help it, but as most of you don't consider that humour anyway, that should be ok.

I was recently having this discussion with a friend about the major differences between men and woman - not talking physical here, more psychological and behavioural. Many years ago I realised that men were basically some kind of living organism being dragged around the universe by a huge cock (ok, not all of you have a huge one). I just love the image of that analogy - it would obviously be easier to envisage with the help of hallucinagenic drugs, but give it a try without - it's pretty easy.

But the woman thing is not so easy for me to work out. To say it's almost a complete mystery is very near the truth for me. What makes them tick? What drives them on? How come just food and telly satisfies them? I just don't get it.

Answers on a postcard please to, Mystified of Newton Abbot.

22 comments:

  1. The differences between men and women? Never thought of that one. That's why I keep coming back, always something new.

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  2. There's a difference?

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  3. How many comments did you say you wanted?

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  4. I mean...I'd go back and read your post to find out but there were some words there that disturbed me.

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  5. and yes, we do celebrate Christmas. (that's in answer to a question you left on my blog)

    Just thought you were waiting for the answer. I'd hate for you to lose sleep over it.

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  6. How goes the horse whispering?

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  7. Have we reached the requisite number of comments yet?

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  8. I'm exhausted. A little help here?

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  9. I'm going to take a break for dinner. I'll expect someone else to comment in my absence.

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  10. Not just food and telly. Shopping also.

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  11. And gossiping about men! We like that too Tom. I think that covers everything that you need to know.

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  12. I would comment but I'm still smarting over being shouted at in your last post, so I shan't.

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  13. Well, Thank you all for helping me in my quest to understand the living universe. I honestly thought i might not get my ten comments, and then I would have looked a right prat having to abandon my blog (Thank you Pammy for helping there).
    Vicus - how long have you known me - For god's sake, you know I only have about three things that interest me: myself (the higher one, that is), divine conciousness, and women!

    And everyone else - so it's food, telly, shopping, gossip, and not being shouted at. I'm starting to build up a picture here.

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  14. Yup, got to second the additions of gossiping and not being shouted at. May this post show my support for continued blogging on yourself, divine conciousness, and women (and the odd horse here and there).

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  15. I didn't know Viagra was an hallucinogen.

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  16. The major difference between man and woman...simple.

    We have nipples that respond to a good touch and men have nipples that droop after a good eat.

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  17. about a century ago, Freud asked 'what do women want?' it's good to know that men are still trying to understand. all you have to do is ask one what she wants.

    i would like to have a barn full of rocky mountain horses, a man to pay for them and to do the washing up.

    can we have the next blog now?

    do you want another photo of my horse?

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  18. Erica. You highlight Tom's problem wonderfully. Read the sentence:
    "i would like to have a barn full of rocky mountain horses, a man to pay for them and to do the washing up."
    I, and all of the men I know, would interpret that as your meaning that you would like to do the washing up.
    You only have yourself to blame.
    I hope that this helps.

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  19. I think I'd be inclined to agree with Awa's opinion, but I didn't know that about men's nipples. You learn something new every day.

    Nothing really drives me, apart from the desire to get the washing up done.

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  20. Pretty bloody useless following mine around, Tom. I'd never get out of the lav.

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  21. Dammit Vicus you have got me there. I could not believe it! I am chief grammarian at work and do the copy-editing!
    and of course as you guessed i particularly hate being left with the washing-up because it interferes with more important life processes for which i was made such as intellectual pursuits, riding, and pleasure.
    is your name latin?

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  22. ok, Tom, this is an old post but I have to respond. Am I the only person in the world who thinks that the whole "difference between men and women" thing is explained by the fact that women have two X chromosomes while men have and X and (not a Y as is commonly thought) another X missing a leg? Has anyone pondered this? What kind of genetic material is missing in men? I'm guessing it has to do with asking directions and finding things in the pantry unaided. Just a guess.

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