While Vicus is away on his holidays perhaps this is an opportunity for me to step up to the plate (yes, the latest fucking jargon speak finally reaches Dartmoor) and offer visitors to my blog the opportunity to stretch their minds and offer their views on something a little more challenging than the topics that generally occupy my mind. Obviously I am normally more than happy to leave the serious stuff to Vicus thereby freeing me up to focus on such lesser issues as Big Brother or the World Cup.
I don't really do films and books, or music or anything arty farty or intellectual at all really - all areas of strength for my dear friend. Plucking information from the vast vortex that is his huge mind is an easy task for him. I did read a James Bond book when I was about thirteen, which I blame for causing the preference in my mind for woman like Ursula Andress and the like. Of course if I met a bird like that in real life I'd obviously shit myself. Apart from my missus of course (just in case she reads this post), I have always found it a bit of a problem communicating with what I guess you would call 'beautiful women'. I think it is because I know that they know that I am thinking ' I'd like to shag that', which after all is a perfectly natural male reaction, but also not the greatest basis for a normal 21st century western civilisation human to human communication. For some reason I always feel like I have to make a bit more effort to pretend that I'm not actually thinking that thought when it's perfectly fucking obvious that I am.
So there I am trying to behave as if they are just another person when in reality they are really hot. They must know that and they must know that every man they meet has roughly the same thoughts about them too. And then I start to think things like, maybe it's nice for them talking to me because at least I'm not just gunning for them and fawning around them just because they're beautiful. Dream on!
And before the WLF gets in the act, I do know this is all bollocks - apologies to them for the mind of the man.
Happy Birthday, Mr. DeVice!
11 hours ago