Thursday, June 15, 2006

Well, we got lucky there didn't we!

For a minute there I had visions of us not even making it through to the knock out stages. What is it about England when we play in these tournaments. It drives me crazy because we seem to be so cautious and we always look so lame out there.

Thank God at last Sven brought on Rooney and Lennon. Everything changed straight away. Suddenly we seemed to have a couple of players on the pitch who wanted to get something going. I just hate it when we sort of amble around like we've got all day. There's no way on earth we can win the world cup playing with that kind of approach. All that kind of 'I'm a well established international footballer' kind of attitude is just crap - we need to get those youngsters in there who will try their hearts out, give us something exciting to watch, and maybe surprise us all.

I'd keep StevieG in there of course I would, but I'd play him in the right position where he can scare the shit out of the opponents. John Terry is good too - I'd make him captain and that would free up the Beckster to play with a bit less responsibility. Mind you if I was married to Victoria I probably wouldn't be feeling that good about myself either. Is that why Peter Crouch is so bloody good at the moment, because of his hot little bird. Yes, it's true, yet again this post is descending into the gutter - I blame it on the readership, sensitive as I am I can't help but write for my audience.

Jo Cole is good too - I'd keep him in. We need players with flare and we need tryers. God, the times I've stood and watched Argyle playing like a bunch of wankers who don't give a damn. No, it just won't do and I'm not going to do it. That's why a bunch of lower league players put together as a national side can make us look poor - because we're sticking with a bunch of overpaid superstars who have lost their way.

Still we're through, and as everyone keeps saying, we'll struggle to play worse.


  1. Made loads of chances, Beck's delivery second to none, Gerrard's goal inspirational, majestic header by Crouch, Rooney escaped uninjured, look at the positives!! WE WON!

    AND it's still 0:0 SWE v PAR
    we have hope and a real chance to go all the way.

  2. Would you like me to comment, Tom?
    You won't like it.

  3. Vicus, you know I always value your opinions even though they are generally wrong.
    Ziggi, yes, look the positives but don't tell me you were happy with the first hour. It was truly shite!

  4. Descending into the gutter? Blaming it on the readership? Just because I was waiting for Joe Cole to get shirtless?

  5. I'd comment but I have no earthly idea what you're talking about.

  6. What is this "we" and "us" business, Tom? I watched some of the England game, and saw no evidence of a geriatric, bandy-legged, scruffy old hippy. (Although England may have played better had there been one). You are not obliged to identify with England, and more than you are obliged to join with Mr Blair in congratulating the queen on living to sponge off us all for 80 years.
    So far I have seen bits of a few games, and most of even fewer, but so far seen no evidence of football being played well. This is much like the last 8 world cups, with the possible exception of the 1982 Brazilians who were literally kicked out of the cup, and where the French were denied the trophy because of the most vicious foul I have ever seen.
    So, chill out, watch cricket. Exciting 20/20 game last night. And don't upset yourself when a poor team loses.

  7. Vicus, thank you for your valued but incorrect contribution.
    So far in this world cup pretty much everyone agrees that we have had some superb matches already. This is probably why the crap England have been dishing up is causing so much concern. However I remain optimistic, as I do think Sven pretty much just reads the papers and does what they say, so hopefully he will change things round a bit from now on.
    And to deal with your final point, re. my chosen path of the non-yogic approach to sport, yes of course you are right and I detest nationalism, and yes I am part of the human race, more than I am part of a poxy self-aggrandising little island off the coast of Europe.
    However, I can't help feeling a small glimmer of optimism that sports events like the world cup could eventually bring all the nations together to have fun. What a fucking dreamer I must be!
    Vicus, if we can't beat a poxy little island off the coast of the subcontinent in a game of schoolboy cricket then we must truly be crap - but nevermind, hopefully we played a few jolly good shots.

  8. There you again with the 'we' business. I wasn't playing. I was watching.

  9. You are not obliged to identify with England, and more than you are obliged to join with Mr Blair in congratulating the queen on living to sponge off us all for 80 years.

    Vicus, was that "ANY more?" Just asking, as I can only serve as proofreader for this post, just like Pamela.

    loldxao - What you say on IM to signify that you are laughing out loud during cross-animation of organisms.

  10. Yes Carmentza, it should.
    Thank you.
    I am on my way over to your house with my autobiography for you to proofread. You do not have to do the chapter on Jennifer Lopez if you are squeamish.

  11. I'm still puzzled by Gerrard. He plays magnificently for Liverpool but put him in an England shirt and he chokes. Once again he went for a drop goal instead of the net and one shouldn't have to wait 90 minutes for him to finally hit the target. And what's this obsession with scissor-kicking? Crouch is given a free volley in open space 8 yards out and he tries and does it all spectacliar-like, shooting it 20 yards wide. He wasn't the only one, I think Lampard tried it too. It's a pseudo important game, not a sodding Coke advert.

    I'd give Walcott a run out against Sweden.

  12. Vicus - I have one word for you:


  13. Carmentza - you'll be delighted to know I read the tail-end of your last post as 'cross-animation of orgasms'.

    I'm still getting over that image.

  14. Mark, yes, yes you are quite right, but I hadn't seen them before I wrote that, and they hadn't played Serbia/Montenegro. It is getting better. And yes Argentina were wonderful against SM. We shall see what happens when they come up against a team who know how to defend. In my cynical way, I expect them to be fouled out of the competition in the way that every good footballing team has been since 1966 (apart from the 1970 Brazilians who were too good). And Ghana were jolly entertaining in the 15 minutes or so that I watched this afternoon.
    But did you see NZ v Ireland this morning? And without Dan Carter.
    Tom, you can bugger off now, we declare this blog liberated in the name of the unbiased football watcher's front.

  15. Tom, would you please post something so I can make a witty and/or provocative comment?

  16. Pamela, leave them to it while they work themselves into a frenzy over all this football mallarkey.

    Let's you and I go and get ourselves a pedicure, facial and a chilled glass of chablis or two. They'll never notice we've gone and it will be so much more fun

  17. Cherry, that sounds like fun!! Although if you've read my blog of late, you'll see that my first and only pedicure experience wasn't something to write about. Although I did. Write about it.

    but the rest sounds lovely. Let's go!

  18. Pammy and Cherry, please bear with us. We don't want to lose you, we love you both more than you can imagine (and of course, all other female visitors, especially those who understand the offside rule). And you don't have to always make witty comments - just hang around because we need girls around us always because then we can show off and pretend that we are really great, and imagine that you like us.
    Pammy, one day I'll take you to a match (in my imagination only, of course) and explain the rules - it's a lot easier to get into than american games because basically it's just about getting the ball into the goal without touching it with your hands. And Cherry, don't pretend you don't like football - I know that you secretly love it, and Big Brother too.

  19. That's why England aren't up to par...they're playing with flares on. Flapping about and spoiling the shots on goal. I ask you...

  20. I meant flair you picky sod.

  21. Mark, yes I am delighted and yes that would be a hard image to get over.

    Vicus, I'm not at all squeamish and would proof your autobiography. Even the parts about the royals, soccer and a Mrs. Trellis.

    Cherrypie and Pammy, may I have a glass or two of chablis with you?

    ysfqer: What you are mentally answering when a cop pulls you over and asks you if you were speeding.

  22. Tom darling, we should do something more exciting than just have you explain a game to me.

  23. There is shocking news in the sports betting world.

    It's been said that any bettor must watch this,

    Watch this or quit placing bets on sports...

    Sports Cash System - Sports Betting ROBOT