Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Defining moments in life - No.14

The first time I had sex I couldn't believe something that good didn't actually cost me anything.
That's not totally true, it did cost me something - I had to go into our local barber's, and in front of a line of old men waiting to get their 'short back and sides', I had to ask for a packet of Durex (in the UK they weren't called condoms back then). In those days you couldn't just go and quietly hide them under the cornflakes packet in your supermarket shopping basket. I slinked in there and the guy said, 'So what do you want then?' I died a thousand deaths as I could feel all these old men thinking, 'Oi, you're too young to need those, and you're not married either, you dirty hippy!
After a while I sussed out that one of the local garages had a vending machine in their loo that sold condoms, albeit at twice the price, but I didn't care. Anything to be spared running the gauntlet of the local barber's, phew!!


  1. How do you know the old men weren't queueing for their Durex too?

    I thought "something for the weekend" was a Pools coupon.

  2. it's funny isn't it how times have changed and kids today are not one bit embarrassed about buy condoms and the like. This is probably progress!

  3. The things we do for love...
    my apologies to 10cc

    Like balking at the pain and sorrow
    The Barber was the cheapest place to go
    And you're feelin' like a part of you is dying
    Can't say Durex in front of all those guys
    You think you're in for trouble
    to-da-Loo I'm payin' double!

    Oooh I finally got one
    Ooh I gettin' laid
    Ooh it was all worth it, afterall

  4. I remember stocking up from the machine in the gents on Platform 2 at Ashford Station. This was of course back in the days when one had to purchase a platform ticket at the princely sum of 2p. The expense!

  5. Geoff - it's just crossed my mind - are we allowed to have sex during the week now?

    Ziggi - Can you call the wholesale destruction of the British moral code, 'progress'. I would say so!

    Donn - Yes Donn, in the end most men will do whatever it takes to get their legover.

    Richard - Ah yes, as an enthusiastic trainspotter in my 'pre-condom needing' era I was a fond purchaser of the much loved 'platform ticket.

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