Yes, I've put a lot of thought into this and I've decided that I am going to abandon my dreams of maintaining my blog as a horse free zone. The thing is I feel like I have such potential to be a bit of a bore when I focus on my life as a human being. I just can't help straying into the serious parts of my brain where I store up all my sort of weird philosophies about life. As a girl friend once advised me 'I think it's just best to keep that stuff mostly to yourself'. However, working on the theory that less is more, I will let the odd gem/load of bollocks fall out onto the page now and again, you know, just so anyone unlucky enough to wander into this text can keep some kind of perspective on this human existence.
It is a strange feeling writing stuff for no reason. Normally I'm writing for an audience that I sort of visualise in my head as I'm writing. But out there among the millions of other people all writing away in blogland, it just seems a little odd. Not knowing if it will ever be read, not earning any money for it, not furthering my career in any way, and not helping anyone else along the way either. I guess that's why I feel the need to put comments in now and again about the nature of this world we live in, and my take on what we are supposed to be doing while we are here. It's my way of making some kind of sense out of my life - sorry if you find it annoying, you can always sod off to another blog, you never know you might stumble across the best writing you've ever read, or maybe just something interesting to read.
The other day I told a couple of friends that I had started a blog. God, I never realised what an untrendy thing it was that I done. I really took some flak. I'll certainly be a bit more careful about advertising this enterprise in the future. In fact if it seriously does turn out to be a 'wrong un' then I might have to cut and run. My reputation as a bit of a weird loser type of person has to be kept in check you know! I think it's the word 'blog'. It's poor isn't it. I've tried using the word journal in a desperate attempt to give myself more of a sort of 'diarist' feeling, but when it comes to it, it's a blog - a useless and pointless piece of writing in cyberspace, that has no audience and serves no purpose. I want it to have a purpose and a meaning but as hard as I've thought about it I can't work one out.
So that's where the horses come in. Stick with me and I'll explain more. Right now I need some sleep - big day in the morning.
1 week ago