Signing Out

No, don't panic! I'm not abandoning my blog, not just yet anyway.
Last night I watched the gorgeous Pamela Stevenson interview Gene Simmons. I actually like most of what I've seen of this guy, but I would say he is a bit of a challenge, and I think she did pretty well under the onslaught of his 'alpha male' behaviour.
So over 35 years or so this guy says he has shagged 4800 women - that's near enough three a week. Naturally enough, the gorgeous one wanted to find out how this has affected and formed his views about women. It was quite shocking really, or at least I found it so. He pretty much just sees woman as targets - in a way I guess maybe all of us men do too, but the difference is he goes for it. Pamela was great though - every advance he made she just dead panned him, and stood her ground.
Anyway, what has this got to do with 'signing out'? Nothing really, except it made me look at the way I have lived my life, and where I have got to now, and what I am doing, and what is up ahead, and so on and so on. So no different to a normal day for me really.
Could I just do my garden, ride my horse, and live quietly with my wife? If I do this would I lose my 'male pride' between now and when I die, and who gives a f*** if I do?
Do I need a project? Do I need to make some impact on this world? Do I need to prove I stand out from the bunch?
Not really do I - so can I sign out!

Defining moments in life - No.14

The first time I had sex I couldn't believe something that good didn't actually cost me anything.
That's not totally true, it did cost me something - I had to go into our local barber's, and in front of a line of old men waiting to get their 'short back and sides', I had to ask for a packet of Durex (in the UK they weren't called condoms back then). In those days you couldn't just go and quietly hide them under the cornflakes packet in your supermarket shopping basket. I slinked in there and the guy said, 'So what do you want then?' I died a thousand deaths as I could feel all these old men thinking, 'Oi, you're too young to need those, and you're not married either, you dirty hippy!
After a while I sussed out that one of the local garages had a vending machine in their loo that sold condoms, albeit at twice the price, but I didn't care. Anything to be spared running the gauntlet of the local barber's, phew!!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Of Horses

Annie – OK, let’s get started. The first question I’d like to ask is this: I’m really not clear what natural horsemanship is?

Tom – No, nor am I. Maybe you need to ask someone who practises it.

Annie – I thought that’s what you did? You do something different to other people don’t you?

Tom – Well, not really. If you look back through old horse books, you can see that there is not much going on now that didn’t go on then. It seems to me that a lot of people who strive to improve their horsemanship end up with very similar realisations.

Annie – What realisations?

Tom – Well, central to everything is the need for a relaxed horse. That is the first and foremost job that needs to be done. Trying to teach or work with an unrelaxed horse is neither effective or enjoyable.

Annie – So how do you recommend we get the horse to relax?

Tom – My first priority is to provide the horse with the mental security that he needs. Get the horse’s attention, then provide clear boundaries of personal space and be in control of the movement. If you think about it, this is often 180 degrees opposite to what a lot of owners give their horses. Once you have that established, then you need to practise being consistent and clear in your instructions. Horses do not relax with grey areas and mixed messages.

Annie – Is this something you can do pretty quickly?

Tom – It varies from horse to horse. Some horses will immediately accept the situation and be only too happy to trust me. Others may have more difficulty: maybe because of some history or perhaps occasionally their temperament, they just may not be able to make that decision to trust so easily. In those situations, I continue to present to the horse a simple offer of security and consistency, and the job takes however long it takes.

Annie – So does your theory work with every horse? How long would you carry on before you gave up on a horse, for example?

Tom – It’s not really ‘my theory’ – but anyway, most horses will come round sooner or later. Some horses have very good reasons not to believe that a human has their best interests at heart – I have met a few where I have thought, ‘No, it’s too dangerous and not worth it’, but there’s usually someone who will give them a go.

Annie – I’ve heard you say that you no longer work with problem horses. Surely anyone can work with horses that don’t have problems?

Tom – What I sometimes say is this: life is not forever, so do the work you enjoy doing. I’ve met too many people struggling on, out of some sense of duty and against all the odds, with totally inappropriate horses. Enjoy your horse, that’s all I’m saying. Right now, one of my horses has several fairly difficult issues, some may say problems, but I am enjoying working with her, so that’s fine.

Annie – Can you talk a bit about the way you work with horses? I’ve watched you work and listened to you comment as you go, and you do have some fairly strong ideas about how things should be.

Tom – I have a fairly strong paradigm, that’s true. I don’t like to see confused horses, so it is important their owners are not confused, that’s for sure. I have a clear job that I want my horse to do. Put simply, I want my horse to be able to take me safely where I want to go, how I want him to go and at the speed I want to go – that is my aim. I want my horse to do the work – why have a dog and bark yourself, that’s the way I see it. When I watch some riders, they seem to be doing all the work – my idea is to sit and relax and use the horse’s energy, not mine. Surprisingly, horses know how to do pretty much all the things we ask of them – they can walk, stop, trot, canter, etc, without us showing them how, they’ve been at it since they were foals. If you are working hard to get all this, then I’d be thinking maybe you have trained your horse to do some things the opposite way to what I would have done. You see some people pulling around on the horse’s mouth, or holding on tight to the reins, and driving the horse into the bit – I don’t get all that. I absolutely start from the point of view: if it’s a struggle, it’s most probably wrong.

Annie – So are you saying you should just let your horse go along all strung out? You know people aren’t going to go for that.

Tom – No, I’m not saying that at all, but what I am saying is that a horse should be able to balance itself. There are plenty of good horse people who can ride their horses nicely without micro-managing them. How can you train your horse to understand the bit if you’re forever hanging on to it? He will never learn – or perhaps what I should say is that what he will learn is to tolerate the illogical pressure which, for some reason he doesn’t understand, you are putting in his mouth.

Annie – I’m sorry, can you explain what you mean there about the bit?

Tom – Sure. I don’t want to train my horse to pull or lean on the bit. I want him to relax with the bit so that we can communicate through it. Maybe the difference is I want my horse to understand pressure and release. I don’t want to feel a ton of weight – or really any weight – in my hands. For one thing, if I have to use my muscles to hold up my horse – well, that’s me doing the work. Also, for those riders who want to collect up their horse or whatever you want to call it, if your horse is relaxed and soft with the bit then you can pick him up any time you like. These are my aims, this is what I am working towards. I want my horse to be so good that if a really accomplished rider comes along I can hand them the horse and they will think, ‘Yes, Tom, you have made a good start here. This horse is a pleasure, and from this point I will easily be able to take things on to a higher level’.

Annie – I understand what you are saying, Tom. My last question is this. Why do you like working with horses?

Tom – Because, Annie, when I feel my horse working with me, 100% concentrated and focused on the job, soft and relaxed within himself, happy in his work, that is a good feeling. The potential at that point feels almost infinite!


Tom's book ‘Be With Your Horse’, and details of his clinics are available at www.bewithyourhorse.com

Prem Rawat - my teacher

Thirty five years ago I was living in the hills in a remote part of Wales. I had survived the glorious years of the late 60s, been to India, and returned to see the hippy dream of a society based on love, in tatters. I sought refuge in the quiet of the countryside.
I kind of knew by this time, that the secret to a successful life was inside myself - or to put that in a less 'spiritual' way, how I feel is all important - if I feel good, then life is fine. But as you probably know, feeling good is not always an easy option - it can come and go, and life can send some real tough times our way too.
I knew quite a lot about Indian philosophy by this time, and a lot of the theory rang true with my own experience. I pored over the scriptures, and practised yoga and meditation. I ate what I considered a very pure diet, and I adhered to a fairly tight moral code. I tried to accept what life sent my way, which wasn't always easy. I had some kind of understanding of the theory of the laws of karma, and I figured if I stopped acting in my own interest and allowed my life to take its course, liberation would be along shortly.

Now I look back at my noble efforts - I am not going to mock them ( please feel free if you would like to) but boy, am I glad that I don't live my life by those theories now.

***

Two years earlier Prem Rawat had come to the west. I had seen him speak at Glastonbury festival in 1971. I had also met some of his students in India, but at that time I wanted to pursue my own way. In April of 1973 I travelled down to London and received the techniques of what he calls 'Knowledge'.

That afternoon I left the house in Muswell Hill where the Knowledge session had taken place and I knew that I had just found out something pretty important. The guy that was with me said, 'Well, that was a waste of a day, wasn't it?', but I was flying.

Since then I have practised Knowledge pretty much every day, and I thoroughly enjoy it. I found it hard at first - I didn't really experience much when I first started, but as the years have gone by I began to experience more - I grew to look forward to the feeling and appreciate the simplicity of life that it gives me. Many of my friends who received knowledge all those years ago have since quit practising, but I've kept going. I love the way it puts me in the moment, and I love the way it helps keep things in perspective for me. The feeling I got on that first day, where I finally had the realisation that my mind and thoughts are not me - that experience has done me proud so far.

I don't tend to tell people about Prem Rawat and Knowledge. Once or twice I have, but it's all a bit close to home for me if you know what I mean. Some people get upset by it, and think it's a religion or a cult. I don't see it that way, there's no commitment like that - it's just a way of feeling good, that works for me.

Land for Sale

My eldest son Paul lives with his family in the Pyrenees, or near them. They own some land there and are doing up a ruin of a house to live in. To help finance the project they are trying to sell some of the land and another ruin. I just received this email from Paul.

We've just had a very uncomfortable few days with a couple of guests who'd come to look at the ruin and the land. Sarah ended up nearly chucking them out and said she'd rather work seven days a week for years than have them as neighbours. The woman was a bloody awful sanctimonious New Ager, absolutely no respect at all. I prefer "ordinary" people; fuck, I prefer people with really big tellies and who wash their cars on Sunday mornings!

Anyway, we've got some other people interested including a pretty sound French guy who'd make a good neighbour I think. We've set the "hippy filter" to maximum strength now - anyone named after a tree, a rock, a pagan festival or a heavenly body is out for a fucking start! Someone e-mailed us this morning saying that they loved the advert, but would wait a couple of months & if it was still unsold that might be the time! Fuck off! Her name was Saphire apparently. I should have put "fruitcakes need not apply" at the bottom of the ad!

How the hell did something so good as the original hippy ideal turn into such a nightmare. We've got kids round here called fucking Leaf and Tree - for fuck's sake. What next eh!

The meat on your plate

.

Hello, I have just been born. I am a female lamb so if I grow well and make a good sheep it will be a few years before I am electrically stunned, hung on a hook and have my throat slit. My brothers have about eight months before that happens to them.

I live on an organic farm, so while I am alive my life will be about as good as it gets for a sheep. Sweet unfertilised grass, no medicines or vaccines, a pretty cool owner who does his best to keep my stress levels to a minimum. At least when I am killed my meat will be pure and sweet, as God intended it to be. Sure it will cost more for you to buy bits of me, but hey, it's worth it just to know that you are not supporting the multi-national chemical industry, and also to know that you are not polluting your body and the planet. Quite important - dontcha think!

Kind Regards

A N Other-Sheep

I can't believe these survived. We went out last night at 11.00 in terrible weather, and found this first timer ewe at the top of the field with her waters broken. We got all the sheep in and I caught her and put her in a pen. I felt to see if the lamb was in the correct postion - I could feel the feet, so we decided to come back in an hour. When I got back at 1.30 she had the tiniest pair of twins I've ever seen. They were alive and she was interested in them, but I couldn't face waiting to see if they drank, so I went back to bed. This morning there they were, very tiny but very alive.

Life - a step by step guide

Sorry Guys, this blog is temporarily doing my nut in. So I am going to carry on with my policy of writing for the sake of it, and seeing what manifests. The rules are that you must not delete, except of course for typos. So, it's a dangerous game to play. Of course you will never know if I have cheated, but believe me I won't. If these fingers take me into the darkest corners of my mind, then so be it, you poor sods are either gonna have to click to another page, or read on, compare my madness to yours, and relax in the knowledge that you are not alone.

Some times I go for really long times feeling really good. Enjoying what is actually a very easy life, at least easy in comparison to the lives most people have. I don't work at a meaningless job, I actually do pretty much what I enjoy doing, working outside with horses - it's fun. I am not poor, and I eat well. I live in a nice house in a nice place. My neighbours are cool. I have a nice family. So far in my life I have good health. Once when I was young I got into some desperately heavy shit in my head, but since then, by the grace of god, I have done ok, at least, I have survived. I know that the thoughts can go anywhere, and I know not to take too much notice. I know to enjoy the feeling of life, and appreciate and be greatful for it.

It's easy to to get complacent. I try not to.

And then every once in a while things get difficult, in my head. I know the drill now - ride it out. Don't do anything important, or at least don't make decisions based on how I feel at this time. And soon something will snap me out of it. I guess for some folks maybe not - but usually for me a few days and I'm back into the good stuff. I go out and dig a few ditches, tidy up a few places - meaningless shit that keeps me out of trouble.

Yesterday my horses were so sweet. We have three mares that we are working on right now, and every day things move along. We do this thing where we want every step of the way to be perfect. The reason for this is that firstly, you don't want to put work on top of anything that isn't good; and secondly, it just makes it harder anyway. If you build your horse from the base up, and get each piece of the job in place correctly, then the theory is that you can make a great horse. It suits me, because I am not technically so great, but I am quite good at one step at a time.

Anyway folks, hang in there, there will be a joke coming along soon.

Unspontaneous Combustion

When I click that 'new post' button, and I have absolutely no idea what I am going to write... Boy I don't like that feeling. Relying on spontaneous creativity - not something I'm known for in this life. But hey, I'll give it a go, and for once I won't allow this blog to deviate into the unsavoury areas of life where my mind so often leads me. I will attempt to steer it manfully towards a few of the wholesome subjects that I am familiar with. If the post is a disaster, well, never mind, at least it buries the psychotherapy one which really didn't get the response I was hoping for.

I know everyone prefers light hearted satirical banter, but sometimes it's just not in me. And if I only write when I feel like that I probably wouldn't have written a word since John shagged Edwina (thank you Vicus for reminding me of the golden era).

I don't want to write about those famous twats. The media kind of gives us the impression that they are all that is going on, and we are not happening. In reality, we are happening, and they are too, but not in the way they think. They are happening in the same way we are - living their lives, the same as us. I once met a famous person (well, actually I have met several). I love it when I do because I always pretend I don't know they are 'special', and they kind of have that look in their eye, 'Don't you know who I am?'.

That's the point you tosser, I know exactly who you are - you're just a bloke, the same as me!

Psychotherapy, or should I just stick my head up my arse?

I'm sorry but I've had it with all that bollocks, not that I know anything about it, or have ever been anywhere near it, which I am sure you will agree, makes me eminently qualified to write on the subject. Around us they have something called buddhist psychotherapy - someone should tell them that what the Buddha was on about was getting beyond your mind, not messing about in it.

I was chatting to a girl the other day and she was telling me most of what she was having to deal with was caused in the womb, at her birth, and during the first three years of her life. As usual with all these therapies, you have to get worse before you get better, which is quite handy really, especially if you happen to be the therapist charging how ever many bucks a session to encourage someone to talk a load of bollocks.

What I want to know is this, why, if you are feeling bad, would you want to go and start digging around in a pile of shit (your mind) and make yourself feel worse. And just in case you haven't realised, here's a little bit of information I'll give you for free - your mind has no end, it's a can of worms, undo one knot and there is another - that is not a great place to go to feel good. Far better I would say, find something that makes you feel good, and that takes your focus away from your mind, and frees you up from it.

So you know me, or maybe you don't, but I would never slag something off without giving some practical alternative, so here it is. One thing you could try is go and have a good shag. That sometimes helps. But if you can't do that, or if you truly want to be really free, then find the energy that keeps you alive - that will make you feel good, guaranteed!

Scary Moments with Lesbians - No14, an occasional series

Don't get me wrong, I actually like lesbians, I've got loads of pictures of them upstairs (ok, I borrowed that joke from my friend, it's funny isn't it!).
Now the thing is for most of my life I have lived out in the country. While I am looking at the flowers in the hedgerows, all sorts of important modern cultural developments completely pass me by. For example, I remember the exact moment when I realised that Mr Plod wasn't just a really nice chap who was there to keep me safe from baddies and tell me the way to some place when I'm lost. One day the plods came round to our place searching for drugs, ransacked the whole house and generally tried to drive us out of town - I know I was only a kid but I was truly shocked - I was and still am sooooooo naive about stuff like that.
Anyway, back to the lesbians. I was in love with a girl who was an art student in Bath and, desperate to see her, I was hitching a ride to the westcountry. This big old Transit van pulled up, the passenger door opened, a girl got out and I jumped in the back. The floor in the back of the van was covered with mattresses and there was a young kid in there, so I just started talking to her about her toys and it all seemed fine. Then I started to listen to the conversation that was going on up front - my oh my, I'd never heard anything like it before in my life. These two girls so hated men it wasn't true. I started to realise that the way that I viewed girls was just so completely BAD I was gonna be lucky to get out of this van alive.
And then they started to grill me, and I was so scared... I tried my best to let them know that first and foremost I viewed everyone as a human being, but they seemed to just know, and proceed to tell me, that the way I was looking at women was politically totally unacceptable. Oh my, oh my, I was in the shit, trapped in the back of van and being terrorised by two extremely militant man-hating lesbians.
Well, I am quite lucky in a way, in that I am quite good at smarming my way out of difficult situations, and after a while I managed to charm my way into their well buried hearts. They pulled over in this big layby and let me go. There was a little van there selling refreshments so I got myself a coffee, sat down under a tree, got my tobacco out and had a smoke. A few minutes later I was ready to face the world again. Phew, that was close!!!!

The Art of Living - part 16

Well the thing is, I do give this a lot of thought, so fair do's I'm gonna write about it. Of course I realise, as my good friend Vicus has pointed out to me on more than one occasion, if you want to get plenty of comments, sex, tits and arses is definitely the way to go. Lists of things sometimes work well too!
But the path of compromise is not for me - I will not shy away from the important fact that we are alive, just to make a successful blog. So here are a few tips I have picked up along the way - try some of them out if you like and see how it goes, but don't blame me if you end up a miserable cynic, alone at your keyboard in a darkened room.

So here is my list.
1) Don't interfere in other peoples lives, and in return expect them not to interfere in yours.
2) Eat good healthy food, preferably organic.
3) Always say nice things to girls - they love it.
4) Try not to worry about money - it comes and goes, and it is not the source of happiness.
5) Live now, if you can.
6) Don't get caught up in all that bollocks about pensions.
7) Mute all adverts and despise famous people who advertise tacky supermarkets.
8) Try not to give a fuck what people think of you.
9) Make feeling good within yourself your priority.
10) Don't take advice from old hippies.

This list was compiled with virtually no thought whatsoever, and comes with no guarantees.

The Art of Dying - Part 2

Many many years ago I read this book about an Indian saint. The one thing I remember is that this saint was so desperate to understand what his life was about, that he decided he would rule out everything it wasn't about, and see what was left after that. He used to wander around saying, 'Neti, neti' (not this, not this). So for example, he would come across something in the world that promised him some satisfaction and he would either do it, or think about it, and decide, no, that's not it, and then he would move onto the next thing.

I never really forgot about that book, or to be more accurate, my memory of it.

Several years later I was working as a builder on a big project turning a house into a hotel. As it turned out the guy who owned the place had a heart attack and died while we were working there. As he lay dying his last words were 'Don't forget to tell Brian about the vent axia'.

Now, that's what I'm talking about here - how everything in life is relative. Just how important was the vent axia? For me, I've never been able to make it that important, because I know in the end the vent axia is neither here nor there. And that is what I mean when I say maybe there is some value in practising the art of dying. Get ready cos it's coming - that moment when the truth dawns will arrive. Neti neti will stare us in the face.

* * *

This morning I was sitting down as I usually do, and observing the thought patterns going through my mind. I could see that I had a choice to pursue those thoughts, or abandon them. One topic after another came into my mind, and each time I did my best to leave it behind. Beyond those thoughts is nothing.

Nothing matters - nothing ever happens - nothing is forever - It feels good!

PS - no drugs were used before or during the writing of this post.
PPS - if you are living your life for the afterlife, this post won't make any sense whatsoever. Sorry!

Disappearing up Uranus - Part 34

OK, this is a promise. I will not write a new post until I get ten comments - so work it out everyone - if you want me to shut up and go away, then it's very easy, don't comment. To help this process along I will continue with my more recent theme of making my posts devoid of any interest or humour whatsoever - well, I might have to make perhaps just one knob or arse joke - it's my nature, I can't help it, but as most of you don't consider that humour anyway, that should be ok.

I was recently having this discussion with a friend about the major differences between men and woman - not talking physical here, more psychological and behavioural. Many years ago I realised that men were basically some kind of living organism being dragged around the universe by a huge cock (ok, not all of you have a huge one). I just love the image of that analogy - it would obviously be easier to envisage with the help of hallucinagenic drugs, but give it a try without - it's pretty easy.

But the woman thing is not so easy for me to work out. To say it's almost a complete mystery is very near the truth for me. What makes them tick? What drives them on? How come just food and telly satisfies them? I just don't get it.

Answers on a postcard please to, Mystified of Newton Abbot.

A Rocky Mountain Horse

Today I did a second session with Erica's Rocky Mountain horse. The horse is a five year old in foal mare that Erica has imported from the USA. When the mare arrived in England, she proved to be a bit more of a handful than Erica had expected.

I've kind of stopped going out to help people with their horses, mainly because it's not the horses that need help, it's the people. It is an absolute prerequisite to me working with someone that they have to know and accept that it is them that needs to change. Somehow, over the years we have managed to successfully shift the responsibility of the deal between us and the horse, right back onto the horse. I never want to hear ever again that you have a 'bad horse', or a 'naughty horse', or it's trying to evade you, or it's 'cheeky', or some other such nonsense.

So working with Erica's horse, firstly last week, when it seemed like the mare had no idea of the concept of work, to this week when within a minute ot two she was showing me that she was more than happy to work - well, for me it was a joy. But what I want to say is this. That horse is from a working breed, and there is another horse in the same yard from Argentina that is also from a working horse background, and boy does it show. Somehow in this country, over the years we have managed to lose so much of that sweet work ethic in our horses. And perhaps even more of a concern, we have managed to lose it in our horsemanship too.

It's simple stuff, this horsemanship, and do you know what - there are a few too many people out there making it far too complicated. Sounds familiar doesn't it.

.

My 2008 prediction

I've just been studying the planetary situation, and from my extensive knowledge of astrology, I feel it is only fair to share my findings. It may be that this information will make the difference between a successful or otherwise 2008 for you.

You probably already know of course, that right now Pluto is rising adjacent to Uranus. This strongly indicates that during the coming months you should expect a big surprise from behind.

OK, I know, but I only make one joke a year, and time's running out. And I have never come to terms with the fact that they named a planet after my arse. And I love Uranus jokes - how fucking childish is that!

So, as in my first life....

.

So three posts running I went into double figures with my comments, so I'm gonna risk throwing in a post about Second Life. I've been playing the game for well over a year now, and I just wanted to update you on the latest developments.

As some of you may know, last year my avi got engaged to a very nice girl called Rosie. Well one way and another, things didn't work out for us and a few weeks ago we broke up. It wasn't very nice for either of us and as in my first life, I didn't really deal with the break-up too well. Needless to say, I bounced back and moved on to a whole new social scene. I started hanging out with a bunch of writers and before long I met Leni.

Leni's path in SL has been very different to mine - when I first met her she was heavily involved in a role play game called Gor. The game of Gor is derived from the novels of a guy called John Norman, and it is all based around the theme of male domination. So obviously, once I heard about it, off I went to check it out. Sorry to disappoint you everyone, I didn't go and check it out at all. But I might go later OK, for research purposes only and for reasons that I will now explain.

Leni and I are now very busy setting up an alternative newspaper in SL in the style of the alternative papers of the late 60s. I have no idea if it is going to work out or not. But right now we have an office and we are advertising for staff. And all this is happening in a virtual world where none of it actually exists.

Love and Peace

I'm reading a really great book at the moment called 'Scrapbook of a Taos Hippy'. When we were travelling back from Phoenix to Denver we drove through New Mexico and stopped off for the night in Taos. The next day we walked up into town for our morning coffee and visited this really nice little bookshop. Sarah found this book and said to me, 'You're going to love reading this'. She was so right!

The book is as it says, a scrapbook. Loads of articles and stories about the Taos hippy scene in the late 60s and early 70s. God almighty, it touches my heart when I read it. All the emotions come flooding back. Remembering the time when I realised no way can I embrace the values of western society, and wondering where the hell there was for me to exist in this world. And then it happened - Love and Peace - my get out of jail free card, coming along at just the right time. I didn't need asking twice - I signed up on the spot.

The remnants of the hippy scene in the UK are not as visible as in the States, or at least the parts of the States we visited. Here there are just a few old druggies around the place, but most of the more productive of us have drifted into business, green issues or the media. To be truthful, if I didn't keep banging on about it, you wouldn't know that to this day, I am still utterly committed to the very same ideals I lived by over 40 years ago. In the States things are much more visible - I get the feeling it was a more powerful culture over there.

People take the piss out of old hippies - well fuck them I say, we were so far ahead of the game most people are only just beginning to catch up.

Here are a couple of excerpts from Iris's book.

'We've been learning all we can about conservation, organic farming, natural foods, herbal medicine, handcrafts, building - all that it takes to live simply and in harmony with our beautiful land, our animals, our bodies and our spirits.'

'We don't want to exploit this land, these animals, these brothers and sisters. We don't want to go into business and make money. We want to live and grow, and treat all things with love and respect.'

My heroes - or is it just cos they died?

I can't get the video thing to load - so you are meant to listen to this track as you read this OK.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=UgleColDNpw

I know we have to die - I actually practice dying. I think I am kind of OK with the actual 'not existing anymore' bit of it. I guess the tough bit is not so much your own death as other peoples. That can be a bit of a bastard for sure.

Anyway, I was just thinking about a few of my heroes that have died. Before I list them, I just want to say, I don't have heroes OK, but these are a few people who I would have liked to see what they would have done if they'd stayed alive a bit longer.

John Lennon - I guess he's top of my list. I loved that guy. I know he was flawed, but who the fuck isn't.

Frank Zappa - Just so brilliant and so cool. Go on youtube and watch him being interviewed. One of the cleverest guys ever. And who could play the guitar so well and be such a cool dude at the same time.

Can't think of any others right now, can you?

Bad acid trips No 23 (circa 1971)

Travelling through Turkey and Iran was quite an intimidating experience for me. Most of the time I could see that the people didn't really want us to be there, and the whole place somehow felt like it was above the law. The arab guys just couldn't quite cope with the way our girls were, and I think they found the whole of the 'hippy' culture very threatening. There was this awful vibe that anything could happen, and no-one would really care. So when we pulled into the 'western' campsite in Tehran, it was like finding a cultural oasis in the desert. No offence guys, if you're Iranian or Turkish, we just had different values I guess.

God alone knows why, but when John, the Canadian whose VW van we were travelling in, suggested we all take some acid, for some unbelievable reason we all agreed. Now as far as I can remember, he just stayed in the van with his girl, I can't remember her name, and spent the whole night shagging. But for me it was another story. I had the full works that night - probably the most scary trip I ever experienced - utter uncontrollable fear! I kid you not, for about six hours I thought I was a goner, with no hope ever of getting back to my sane mind. At one point I sat with Jan, my travelling companion and girlfriend, in a small glade, and all I could see everywhere were snakes. We were sitting in a sea of snakes. They were in her hair, they were all over us. It was truly horrendous.

To make matters worse I had this real big thing about having sex while I was tripping, and it was really pissing me off that John was there doing it, while I was stuck in hell.

OK OK OK, do you know I was chatting to a girl in Second Life the other day, and she said, 'Christ, I'm not used to this, most people I meet in here are so cool and easy-going, and you are so bloody serious'.
'Bloody hell', I thought, 'I'm supposed to be the cool one, what's going on?'
And now I'm looking back and thinking, 'God, I'll take serious babe, I'm just lucky to be here'.

As the sun came up over the Iranian hills, I could feel the warmth on my back. The acid started to wear off, and I began to feel good again. I went for a swim in the pool and felt the water moving over my skin. I ate some bread - it tasted really good. 'Phew, I'm still alive'. I thought.

You know I've always said, let anyone who wants to, take as many drugs as they want. But I'll just say this, I saw a lot of guys wandering around India with not much brains left. And recently in the States, I saw a load of drugged up old guys too. It's a waste of an opportunity, that's all.

So my advice now would be, just go steady OK.