Sunday, May 25, 2008

Shithouses I have used - Nos. 43, 44 and 45

No 43 - Glastonbury 1971 - a six foot deep trench roughly dug out with a JCB, with scaffold boards to squat/sit on. This was fairly bad - lots of really choking smells, and sights to behold beyond your wildest imagination. And needless to say, the odd hippy having to climb out after having lost balance during the evacuation process. Not somewhere to visit at the height of your trip.

No 44 - Mehrauli, Delhi 1971 - These ancient loos in a buddhist monastry were truly magnificent. Eight feet high hollow concrete cubes with a eight inch square hole in the centre of the top. They were situated in a beautiful walled compound and while squatting over the hole, in the glorious dawn sunlight, you were just high enough to see the magnificent old temples that are just everywhere in that area.
Monks had been shitting in these holes for centuries and mysteriously, they never seemed to fill up. There was no smell, and the best thing was, after you finished crapping, a mongoose came along and went down the hole to see if there was anything of value left behind (in my case, at the time I had bad ameobic dysentry , so I guess he left pretty dissappointed.

No 45 - Vagator Beach, Goa 1972 - These were my favourite loos of all time. Way ahead of the game, this was permaculture in action Big Time. The loos were small dark cells, providing a nice cool refuge from the baking hot Goan sun. You just hung your arse over this ledge and shat. As your turds hit the deck outside, you could hear the satisfied grunts of the Goan pigs enjoying the latest offerings, yum yum.
And yes, the locals did eat pork.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Old Hippy Speaks

I had this idea that maybe it's about time I said what I think. Maybe I have been playing Mr Reasonable for a bit too long. So have I got the balls, that's the question, and will it do any good, and does it matter anyway? These, and other deep philosophical questions will be explored in depth in due course.

Forty years ago we knew this crazy consumerist society was a load of shit, going nowhere. We worked out that happiness was not linked to materialism. And we worked out that plundering the planet for short term greed would be a disaster sooner rather than later. So now here we are again, and no fucker listened, and guess what, they're still not listening. You educated twats, you power hungry idiots, you thick suckers, you cannot keep taking from a finite supply - it will run out!

Today I listened to this total arsehole trying to explain that the only way to feed the ever expanding population of human beings was to mechanise and industrialise global agriculture. Jeez, There is so much land being under-utilised and so many people doing pointless jobs - why doesn't anyone put two and two together and start encouraging people to use the land correctly to grow good food as it is meant to be grown. Have you any idea how much food you can grow on a small patch of land if you do it properly - I can tell you, it's a lot! And I'll tell you why no-one is encouraging it, it's simple - there is no way they can make obscene profits from local living, but guess what, they can from huge great enterprises, where they can steal cheap labour and keep land ownership in the hands of the few.

'Oh, I don't want to grow food, I don't want to get my hands dirty, I want to earn obscene amounts of money doing stuff that absolutely doesn't need doing - and I want to buy fast cars and fancy watches, and suits made by poncy designers'.

Oh Please Guys! it's getting near time when you have to grow up and get real!